Sunday, January 27, 2013

Cancer books for children

During my first week of this trail, my husband's cousin recommended I look into books for our son, who is 7. This might help him better understand cancer -- we can read these aloud together and talk about it. I love literature in general so I thought this was a great idea.

I ordered some books on amazon which came in yesterday. I ordered:


The last one is not cancer related, but it talks about how this village all takes care of this one child. I love this image. I want my son to know that he has a village, too. My favorite cancer books for kids so far are Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings and  the Goodbye Cancer Garden.

In general all of the cancer kid books have wonderful perspectives of this disease because these are written from first hand experience. And although I loved them, I wished there was one that specifically spoke to our son. For instance, in one of the books, My Mom Has Cancer, there is a little boy who is our son's age and he talks about some changes like his mommy not being able to go to his soccer practices sometimes. I think he'll make the connection with my not being able to go to his music classes sometimes, for instance, which is exactly what this book is trying to do with these examples -- but I still wished there was a story written from his perspective. If there were, it would go something like this:

One afternoon after lunch while reading Little House in the Woods, my mom got a call from her doctor.
All of sudden she started crying really loud and I could hear the doctor talking but Mommy just kept crying over the words he said:

"I have bad news. You have an aggressive and an invasive cancer."

I didn't understand this but it made Mommy really sad. It made me scared at first but then a few moments later I rubbed her arms like she rubs mine when I'm with the doctor. I told her "Mommy, it's ok. You're going to be ok." This made Mommy cry even harder it seemed. But she pulled me in close and hugged me while she continued to cry.

The doctor kept talking. He was really nice -- nicer than some of my doctors. He told her to take her time, that crying is ok and that she needs to cry. He told her he has time and is not in a hurry. He's such a nice, nice man. When Mommy calmed down but then started to cry again, I told her to take deep breaths. This helps me when I'm at the doctor's office and they're sticking needles in me. It looks scary, but Mommy and Daddy tell me it's going to be ok, take deep breaths. They tell me this and that "We are right here with you. We are doing this together." So I told my mommy these same words. Like me at the doctor's offices, she just wanted to hold on to me.

When she finally got off the phone, she called Daddy and it seemed like this whole thing happened all over again. When Daddy answered, she could only cry really hard. Daddy said he's packing his bags. By the time Mommy said her first words to him, Daddy said he was on the freeway. Mommy cried hard as she said these words "I have cancer...it's invasive and aggressive..." I still didn't know what that all meant, but later I learned.

Mommy said some of the smallest parts of her body got bigger when they were not supposed to. They're supposed to stay in the same place, too. It's like when I fall and cut my knee. The blood is supposed to stay in the body. When it comes out like that, my body has to fight the blood from leaving so it builds up this little army of new skin to keep more from leaving. It's also not supposed to get so big and bumpy. That's inflammation. When there's inflammation things don't go where they're supposed to go and this can happen pretty fast.  So, that's when I put on ice to make my skin not get inflamed. Well, Mommy's cancer is like the blood that's escaping the skin. That's the invasive part. It's going where it's not supposed to. The aggressive part is how fast it's moving in the wrong area or direction. It's a disease -- and just like doing things like putting on a band aid from blood escaping or putting ice for the inflammation to go down, Mommy has to do some special things for her cancer.

Mommy also said cancer was like a weed in our garden. It depends on what plant it's invading, how much of that plant it's invading, and if it invaded other plants.Weeds kill good plants because they take over that plant's job. Cancers kill good body parts because they take over that body part's job. Everyone's cancer is different because it depends on where that weed is growing, how much of it is growing, and how fast it's growing. When we know this, we have decisions to make on the plan -- and this takes a lot of planning.

Mommy has to go into surgery to get the cancer out of her body. Then Mommy has to do things to make the cancer not come back. Some of these things might include treatments called chemotherapy, radiation, and hormones. All of these things will make Mommy feel tired and even sometimes feel really really bad. This will change some of our routines for a little while. She'll have to rest a lot. Mommy says the best medicine will be me curling up with her and reading a book together. But, she also said that sometimes she will just have to sleep and she'll love knowing that I'm happy and can find something to do that makes me happy -- like building Legos, or building battle scenes from Lego Ninjago (I love this Lego series). Mommy said we'll be the good guys and cancer is the villain. I like that. We're going to make sure we defeat that villain.

Up until surgery Mommy says she has to eat as healthy as possible. She says this is part of the battle. It'll help her go in strong, help the cancer not get bigger or come back, and recover. It looks like she started a farm in our fridge. It's filled with lots of green vegetables. She's juicing these many times a day. It's hard to see any foods in our fridge without any labels on it anymore. I used to be able to read all the labels on boxes and containers but now these are all fresh. She even made my yoghurt with help from a friend (I'm still getting used to this...). All of our meals are now cooked from fresh items. So, since we are all in this together we are all eating healthier without preservatives. Mommy says she wished she ate like this her whole life but she also says things always happen for a reason and sometimes we don't see that reason for a while.

Up until surgery, Mommy also says she'll try to keep my routines as best as possible. But, on some days Mommy will have to go into doctors offices and get all kinds of tests done before the surgery happens. These tests have many names, like ultrasounds, MRIs, PETSCANS, CATSCANS -- and even blood draws tests for different things. The results tell the doctors where the cancer is, how to get rid of it, and how to treat it after, too. These, too, will take so much time but the more we know, the more power we have on our journey. We are all learning so much!

Everyone thinks about cancer in a different way. Some people stay positive, some ask others to think of them, others ask for prayers, some want to learn as much as possible, some want to know other people who also have had cancer. In our family, we are doing all of these things. I'm still unsure about what cancer really is, but at night time I pray that we have courage and strength to get us through. When I go through surgeries and hospital things that are hard, I feel like Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit who also didn't want to leave the shire and go on his journey. But even when he met dragons, other enemies, rough battles, and places that only he had to go through by himself -- he also had mentors and allies rooting for him. This gave him the courage and tools to get through. And I always learn something new to share with others who also might need to leave the shire. Mommy is like Bilbo.  She will need to be brave to get through her battles on her very long journey. We also need to be brave with her. We are all going to get through this, be on the other side of this, learn something new -- and share with others who also might need to leave the shire someday.

Mommy says everyone's battle with cancer is different. For our battle, it started with a new year and will hopefully be done by Labor Day -- just in time for third grade! I'll be 8 years old by then and it will be a victory. We'll have to create a holiday called Victory Day for the day the doctors say this cancer is defeated. Mommy says her Victory Day will be around the same time as one of her favorite races, the Race for the Cure. She says she wants to run or walk this year, wearing a pink shirt with the words 'Survivor'. That's what I am -- and that's what she WILL be.


Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)