Once I pushed through the tears and fears of week 1 -- knowing I have an invasive and aggressive cancer but not knowing if there was metastasis (cancer spread to other parts of the body) as well as the logistics that needed to happen during that time (making appointments with surgeons, oncologists, geneticists, reconstruction surgeons, and getting second opinions as recommended by family, friends, and doctors), I completed several visits to these doctors offices in order to learn about what I have and what options are available.
Week two has been all about testing: doing MRI, ultrasounds, and scheduling clearances with doctors including a cardiologist (this one is unique to me due to a hospitalization I had in 2009 after going through septic shock and having a congenital mitral valve prolapse). My MRI result of this past Thursday, January 24, showed an additional tumor caught -- fortunately within the same quadrant of my first tumor and roughly the same size of 2.5 cm within an area of 4.5 cm. The mastectomy will of course address both of these tumors.
In some ways it's been so good to be this busy because it keeps my mind off of upcoming surgery. But between balancing my high learning curve and logistics I try to keep normalcy as much as possible in the home. This means I've been homeschooling my son this week -- something we both really enjoy. I cherish these moments of sitting side by side with books, taking turns reading aloud, discussing and narrating events... this is my medicine I need daily. I've always looked forward to each of these days -- but of course now I even crave it. And Steven has been amazing. I know there's a lot on his plate and yet he's brought me to each appointment, took notes on his laptop, questioned each doctor. I also hate MRI machines. He's helped here my reading outloud (shouting -- it's loud in there) to keep my mind off of being claustrophobic. This past week in the MRI I tried making peace with the machine -- but I kept thinking "I just want to go back to the shire." "I don't want to go on this adventure, Gandalf!" I felt like Bilbo Baggins and all I wanted was to go back to the days of pre cancer but I know for some reason this road was chosen for me. I'm learning to make peace and accept it.
Week 3 will look a lot like week 2. The next serious scheduled date for me is February 4, 2013. At that point we go over all the results with both surgeon and reconstruction surgeon and schedule my February surgery.
Thank you to all my family, friends, friends of friends and friends of family who are keeping me in thoughts, positive vibes, and prayers.
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