When I get really scared, prayers help calm me down. And sometimes humor does, too. This is why when some of my friends threw a 'boob voyage' party this weekend I was excited for the opportunity to breathe, laugh, and enjoy the ride. We played some fun games that did a great job of keeping my head in a positive place. My favorite of these games was identifying the boobs of famous celebrities (or the other way around, put a face on the famous boobs. Hilarious, fun; I'll have to post those pix on another post sometime. One of my close friends also had an awesome shirt made. It says what I feel and I'm so grateful. It's like a race shirt -- and this is something I can identify with as a runner. It will be the biggest race of my life). The party was like a shower -- to acknowledge the circumstance, to honor a job well done, and to bid farewell to a part of my body that has fulfilled its function. I've grown these puppies for the past 35 + years, I remember my first 'training bra', my first 'jogbra', my first 'nursing bra'. Each presented a different set of memories in the life of a girl and a woman. I'm grateful for each stage because I hold the memories -- and this is something that can never be taken away from a woman who is in this circumstance.
Photos: I generally like photos of other people vs my own. But I want to remember this -- and maybe someday this will give someone else hope. So, here they are:
My last day of this chapter:
My current feelings and race shirt:
My best job ever:
Cancer can take tissue but I'm going to fight it and hold onto everything that matters, everything that is dear to my heart and mind. And, I'm grateful that we are at a stage in humanity that at least there is a solution. Not the funnest solution, but one that keeps me alive so I'm so darn grateful for this. I'm grateful that I had a deep, restful, peaceful sleep. I woke up taking a deep breath -- and I know this is not me on my own. I feel the strength of people sending me thoughts, good vibes, positive energy, prayers, hugs. I feel this overwhelming feeling of love that will get me through this -- especially as my mind sometimes tries to go down a different path, or when my body starts to shake from nerves. I know it's the love of my family, friends, community that will get me through this. I'm grateful beyond any words I can express. I hope to emerge on the other side stronger, wiser, helpful and a contributor to my community which spans different circles -- including my newest community of cancer fighters and ever so hopeful cancer survivors.
Check in time this morning for surgery: 6:30 am
Surgery time this morning: 8:30 am
Total estimated surgery time: 5 hours
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