Saturday, November 30, 2013

Genevieve's Delivery Day



4 years ago today, I went into labor and delivered a beautiful baby girl named Genevieve. I went into septic shock which entered my lungs, my heart... I spent 9 days in the hospital and lived, she didn't. But, I got to hold her and felt only awe and peace. 

For her funeral I made exactly 100 little guardian angels to go out into the world through friends and family. I made these as Christmas tree ornaments and she goes on our tree every year. When I ask Christopher who is Genevieve, he says "my sister and guardian angel". When Rise of the Guardians came out in the movies, he made the connection between the main character and his sister. When I cried out for help the first time on Facebook for direction on the day I learned I had an aggressive and invasive breast cancer -- exactly 100 people responded. I couldn't help but think that my guardian angel was right there, saying "Mommy, it's going to be ok." 

I survived yet another deadly illness and today I'm here so grateful. I think of so many things ... including Eric Clapton's lyrics, Tears in Heaven. In particular, I feel like I tasted heaven on that November 30, 2009 -- but it's not my turn. I don't belong, yet. Im posting the lyrics in memory of Genevieve on this morning that my body woke up --on its own-- the exact time I went into her labor. Awe and peace...

"Tears In Heaven"

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Memories of her chapter:

http://ourbabygenevieve.blogspot.com/2010/01/2-months-later.html?m=1






1 comment:

  1. Oh Liz, I had heard this story in different detail, but this telling of Genevieve & guardian angels especially touches my heart. I'm so sorry for this tremendous loss & for the hole she left. I'm in awe too at the fulfillment you've found, the peace & carrying on in strength by keeping her close in your heart. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. Christopher has a tender soul. It's amazing that he feels connection with her. I admire you guys so so much.

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