Reconstruction Surgery Day

This day has finally come! Before I forget these memories and feelings, I want to write them down as I go through them and while I can so that others who have to go through. I'm currently in between drugs -- Percocet and Valium -- so I'm not in the pain I'd otherwise typically feel without them. The Valium is wearing off which means I'm more alert but it also means I'm starting to feel pressure on my torso. In about 15minutes I'll take the next Valium pill leaving me less pain and also less cognitive function so I'll most likely sleep which is good. My husband and son have been wonderfully taking care of me. So grateful!

What do I currently feel?

It feels like sandbags sitting on my chest. Signing is definitely better than talking since pushing out air for speech is labored. But both are doable. My abdomen has four areas of tissue removed so when meds wear off it stings and tingles. Day 1 after surgery is always the hardest day but once I get through what I'd like to think of as the undertow of a wave, it's a smoother ride because anesthesia is out of my body. The anesthesia is what causes me to puke but so far only a few times. Compared to the mastectomy it is much better.

Our sofa is a better height for me since our bed is high and harder to maneuver myself in and out of. So prior to today's surgery, I arranged the books I want to read lower on the adjacent bookshelf. In some ways this is the best part of being out -- I will be able to read more.

This morning my son was a champ. His brain operates in a way that makes it better to know visually what's going on. There was an episode on Grey's Anatomy of a child with Autism Spectrum  Disorder (ASD) that was similar to us. It's part of the reason why he has been to each appointment and treatment. It helps him understand. It helps him understand his processes as someone who is no stranger to surgery, and mine. Though we are relate, our non related surgeries are kindred spirits. And it's ok to laugh and cry. We laughed a bit before being wheeled off; when I got wheeled away he started to cry and said calmly through tears "I hate this part." Me too, and that's ok. 

Speaking of ok...it's time for Valium. On my next post I'd like to share information about the reconstruction process in order to demystify it. 

Thank you for keeping this family in thoughts and prayers.